A few months ago, I had Deb Haynie—a local therapist and shaman—on my podcast. Her episode is coming out soon, and it stirred something in me I didn’t expect.
Last December, I did a shamanic training with her. I’m someone who loves to learn—I’ll step into new spaces if there’s even a chance it expands me. And it did. It was powerful, different… hard to explain.
And then, almost immediately, I questioned it.
A couple of days later, I was at the gym talking with my trainer. She asked me about it, and I brushed it off. Downplayed it. Didn’t fully own what I had experienced.
That same afternoon, I went outside to put up Christmas decorations.
And there it was.
A dead raven in my side yard.
Now, this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. When my brother died, I found a dead hawk. So I stood there thinking… what is this?
I called Deb.
And she said, “Ask the bird.”
And while that might sound strange, what it did was turn me back toward myself.
Because in many spiritual traditions, the raven represents transformation. The end of something. The beginning of something else.
Not literal death—but the kind that asks you to let go of who you’ve been.
And here’s what I know now…
The last four months of my life have been transformational.
I took a solo retreat.
I stopped drinking.
I committed to my health in a new way.
I’ve been showing up differently—in my relationships, in my work, in how I respond instead of react.
Am I saying all of that happened because of a shamanic training and a dead raven?
No.
But I am saying this—
Something opened.
Something cracked.
And instead of shutting it down or explaining it away… I stayed with it.
I don’t have clean answers.
I don’t fully understand it intellectually.
I trust I will be supported by the seen and unseen.
That something is guiding me in ways I couldn’t have mapped out on my own.
And maybe that’s the point.
Not to figure it all out…
But to be in it.
To notice.
To listen.
To follow what feels true, even when it doesn’t make perfect sense.
I still look for signs.
Not because I need proof…
But because I’m paying attention now.
This conversation with Deb Haynie is about opening to that kind of awareness.
Not blind belief.
Not having all the answers.
But being willing to consider that there’s more available to us than what we can explain.
Her episode on Second Chances with Christy Belz is live www.christybelz.com/podcast
