Years ago, I listened to an audio program by Joan Borysenko, a Harvard-trained psychologist who was talking about something I had never heard explained so clearly before.

Despite being in pharmaceutical sales early in my career, representing an estrogen patch for hormone replacement therapy.

Back then, the conversation was clinical and narrow:
Hot flashes. Bone density. Symptom management.

What we didn’t talk about was the whole woman:
Her identity. Her emotions. Her sense of self.

We’ve evolved since then—and women are asking better questions.

While I was personally experiencing the changes in my own feminine health, I listened to an audio program by Joan Borysenko, a Harvard-trained psychologist who was talking about something I had never heard explained so clearly before.

She said that during perimenopause and menopause, testosterone can increase while estrogen declines.

And her interpretation wasn’t just biological, it was deeply human – even spiritual.

She said, this is often the time when women become less interested in taking care of everyone else… and more interested in telling the truth.

We are done caring for everyone else and it is a time for us to be more focused on our own needs and desires. 

That landed.

Because what can happen in this season isn’t just physical, it’s behavioral.

Women who have spent decades:

  • Nurturing
  • Managing
  • Anticipating everyone else’s needs
  • Keeping the peace

Start to feel something shift inside.

A shorter tolerance.
 A clearer voice.
 A deeper exhaustion, not just physically, but emotionally.

And many women interpret that as:

“Something’s wrong with me.”

Hormones and Truth-Telling

Estrogen is often associated with connection, bonding, and caretaking.

As it declines, and as testosterone subtly rises, something else can emerge:

  • More directness
  • More assertiveness
  • Less willingness to tolerate what doesn’t work

In other words… less people-pleasing.

Not because you’ve become harsh.

But because you’ve become honest.

And if you’ve built an identity around being the one who holds it all together for everyone else, that shift can feel disorienting.

From Caretaking to Conscious Choice

This is where the conversation gets important.

Because the goal isn’t to swing from:
Caretaking to not caring at all

The invitation is:
 Caretaking as a conscious choice

To ask:

  • Do I want to do this?
  • Is this mine to carry?
  • What do I need right now?

That’s a very different way of living.

And it’s one that many women have never given themselves permission to explore, until their body essentially says: We’re not doing this the old way anymore.

Reframing the “I’m Done” Feeling

That feeling of:

“I’m just tired of taking care of everyone else.”

Isn’t selfish.

It’s a signal that:

  • Your energy needs recalibration
  • Your boundaries need attention
  • Your identity is evolving

And when supported properly, this is where practitioners like Victoria Hodgkins can be so helpful. You’re not left alone trying to figure it out.

A More Conscious Approach to Care

This is why the work of Victoria Hodgkins and Inflexxion Health matters.

Because women don’t just need symptom relief.

They need:

  • Education
  • Personalization
  • Partnership in their care

When you understand what’s happening in your body, you make decisions from a place of power—not confusion.

You’re guided through:

  • What’s happening hormonally
  • What support your body might need
  • How to navigate this transition without losing yourself

This Isn’t the End of Who You Were—It’s the Expansion

What I love about what Joan Borysenko was pointing to is this:

This phase of life isn’t about becoming less of who you are.

It’s about becoming more fully yourself, without the layers of obligation that may have defined you for years. More truth, more clarity. more alignment with who you are not at this stage of your life.  And if we approach it consciously, it can become a powerful second chance.

And yes… sometimes that looks like saying no when you used to say yes.

If this resonates, I’d love for you to stay in this work with me.

On my podcast, Second Chances with Christy Belz, I have real conversations with women who are navigating transitions, telling the truth, and choosing themselves in new ways—personally and professionally.

Subscribe, listen, and share with a woman who needs to hear this.

Because every moment—yes, even this one—is a chance to begin again.