Dr. Nikki Dority, a successful entrepreneur, physical therapist, biomechanist, movement specialist, and mother who shares her journey of living with bipolar disorder. Dr. Nikki opens up about her experiences with mania, depression, and the challenges of balancing her personal and professional life.
In this episode of the NEW You, Network for Empowering Women podcast, Christy Belz interviews Dr. Nikki Dority, the founder of Nurture, a well-care marketplace rooted in community, dedicated to providing self-care options for all. She shares her journey from growing up in a chaotic household to serving in the army and eventually starting her own businesses. Nikki opens up about her experience with bipolar disorder and how it has shaped her life. She discusses the challenges of managing her mental health while running a business, being a mom, and maintaining relationships. The discussion highlights the importance of prioritization, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care.
Listen in to be inspired and enlightened by Nikki’s narrative of determination and empowerment.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
- Prioritize self-care: the importance of prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries. Say no when necessary and not try to please everyone. Taking care of your own well-being is essential.
- Seek support: the importance of having a support network like the value of therapy, having understanding friends and family, and potentially joining support groups.
- Normalize mental health: view mental health challenges as part of their journey and to work towards acceptance and understanding.
- Practice open communication: the importance of open communication, both with loved ones and with oneself. Being honest about one’s needs and challenges can lead to healthier relationships and a better understanding of oneself.
Visit Dr. Nikki Dority’s social media pages
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-nikki-dority-pt-mspt-dpt-ocs-0498b52
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikki_dority/?hl=en
Websites: balanceptdenver.com and visitnurture.com
Learn more about Christy Belz Social Communications:
Website: https://christybelz.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChristyBelzCoach/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christybelzcoach/
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/christybelz
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00 Christy: Welcome to New You, Network for Empowering Women Podcast. I’m your host, Christy Belz. Enjoy our array of talented, open-hearted guests and their willingness and courage to share their stories of second chances, life-changing choices, and new perspectives. We’re here to uplift and empower you and your journey.
00:00:39 Christy: I am so, stinking excited about my guest today, Nikki Dority. I met Nikki probably four or five years ago, maybe more, when she was networking, when she’s building out her business called Nurture here in Denver. And I had heard about Nikki before this time and what, incredibly badass woman she was. And then when I met her, I just had this instant love for her. And we’ve been on a little journey, haven’t we, Nikki?
00:01:09 Christy: We’ve done a Ted Talk together. Now you are featured in my book, and I’m just so delighted that you said yes to being with me today on New You, Network for Empowering Women.
00:01:21 Dr. Nikki: I’m really happy to be here. Thank you.
00:01:23 Christy: You’re so welcome. Oh, my gosh. So I want to just start with your story, Nikki. It’s incredible where you came from and where you are and what do, and, yeah, we have some nuggets to talk about, but let’s just share with our guests a little bit about Dr. Nikki Dority.
00:01:39 Dr. Nikki: Thank you, Christy. Well, I am currently here in Denver, Colorado. I have two kids and a husband and three pets, and I grew up in Massachusetts back east, and grew up in an interesting household that will probably touch upon a lot of love, but a lot of chaos, how’s that? And then from high school, I went to Miami for college, and I was commissioned after college into the army. I did ROTC during college, and after my time in the military, I moved here to Colorado for my master’s and doctorate and met my husband during that time and have been practicing physical therapy ever since and becoming a mom and all the good stuff.
00:02:29 Dr. Nikki: But in the meantime, I also started my love affair with startup and entrepreneurism, and that’s sort of been always next to me alongside the other stuff. So I’ve owned a women’s retreat business. I owned, medical technology company that looked at biomechanics and movement impairments, and then most recently, about six years ago, a dear friend and then another friend, and I started a business called Nurture here in Denver. And it’s a wellness collective, and it’s, pretty cool spot. And then I have a small PT practice right now, so, yeah. I’m counting at my hands on a lot of stuff, but I’m trying always to find, good balance.
00:03:15 Christy: Yes. You’re my fourth interview in this Network for Empowering Women, and it just blows my mind that, women that I know and that I have been touched by and that are in my field, just remarkable, and you certainly are one of them. There’s so much in there that I want to pull on, like, amazing. You were in the army, you ran how many people?
00:03:41 Dr. Nikki: My last job, Christy, was as a company commander and I had a medical unit. So there were about 180 soldiers at any given time in that unit in all medical arenas. I.e. doctors, medics, like the whole smorgasbord. And that was a really, I mean, as a young, early 20 something, getting to do that and work alongside the best and brightest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to work with.
00:04:11 Christy: Did you ever serve Nikki? Did you go abroad or serve?
00:04:17 Dr. Nikki: Not in conflict, Christy. Not in conflict. I was down in Honduras. I was in a profuse unit down in Honduras for a few months, but other than that I was stateside the whole it. We weren’t in conflict at the time. We were just after Desert Storm. So it was just the timing of things. I didn’t have the opportunity, which is what it is, right?
00:04:38 Christy: How do you feel about that, though? Really? Did you join the army thinking that you might see conflict?
00:04:45 Dr. Nikki: When I joined the army I had…when I did ROTC, I was really attracted to the service component. I was really attracted to the camaraderie and the physical side standpoint. I’ve been kind of an athlete all my life and I think I was so young that I didn’t necessarily consider what service could look like. I thought in my head, I’m going to be in, medical unit, so I’m always going to support. I’m never going to have to be directly in the throes of combat, but Medical Service Corps officers, which was what I did have the potential to be in any situation in the military from a hospital all the way to front lines as a combat support hospital. So once I learned that, it wasn’t scary, though, because at the time I loved it. I absolutely loved it. So it seemed like the right thing to do for me.
00:05:38 Christy: Yeah, impressive. And then obviously going on to get your doctorate degree and just finishing that through and starting your PT business and then Nurture. Talk a little bit more about Nurture because I just think that is a fascinating idea.
00:05:53 Dr. Nikki: Christy, you know, I think a lot of providers and clinicians have sort of had this idea over the years. I think Peter and Kelly and I just said yes. And essentially it is a very large wellness center. To my point. We have about 60 providers in the space in all disciplines from massage, to reiki, to functional medicine and beyond. We have two fitness studios, a full recovery space, a cafe, that’s amazing. It’s called Nest.
00:06:28 Dr. Nikki: We run some events in retail, so it’s kind of a whole self wellness center so you can come. We call it home for the whole human. And we also have a membership arm of the business now where people come as members and they get specific benefits with the membership, including fitness and food and camaraderie and community events. So, yeah, we’ve continued to evolve and pivot the business as time goes on. We opened in COVID, Christy.
00:07:01 Christy: Of course you did. Oh, my gosh. We’re going to talk more about Nurture and put it in the show notes, and we’ll talk at the end about how people can connect with you and learn more. But nurture is really a remarkable concept and idea, and I’m so proud of you for making that happen, because as you said, a lot of people had that idea, but you were the one that manifested and created such a beautiful space. Unfortunately, there’s only one, and it’s in Denver for anybody that’s listening outside of the Denver area. But just one of the other accomplishments that Nikki Dority has done. So, Nikki, we have to talk about your mania and what happened.
00:07:38 Dr. Nikki: Yeah, so I don’t even know how many years ago, now, Christy but I think I was in a pretty traumatic childhood. I think it’s important to give a little backstory.
00:07:48 Christy: Of course.
00:07:50 Dr. Nikki: My parents were wonderful, but the setting I lived in was with another person that was pretty violent and really dysregulating. And so I think there was a familial mental health history. But I do think that I developed bipolar disorder to protect and save my life. I truly believe that had I not had that method or tool, I probably would have been dead, either by suicide or I don’t say this lightly or abuse. I just don’t know.
00:08:25 Dr. Nikki: But the mania helped protect me really well. And for many years, as you can probably tell, everybody just said, oh, that’s Nikki, right? That’s just Nikki. She runs 50 miles and she runs two businesses. And I don’t think a lot of people identified it with pathology, although in retrospect, I think a lot of us realized it was but it helped me do what I did, right? So it’s partially just part of my life journey, and I have gratitude for it in some ways. But about five years ago, I was away on a retreat, my business. We were trying to merge with another retreat company, and I had had five major losses in, like, six weeks.
00:09:16 Dr. Nikki: Two deaths, my mom got sick, was in the ICU, had surgery. All of these things happened just prior to the retreat. And I was a person that was such a pleaser back then that I didn’t say, look, I can’t do this. Nevertheless, I went, and within 24 hours, I had a full psychotic break. And don’t remember a lot of that time, really. Only remember waking up in a hotel room in a puddle of tears, not knowing what happened, feeling, like, super guilty because I let people down. Just the whole rigmarole. Just so much shame and fear. Right. Christy, it’s just a situation, like that-
00:09:59 Christy: Oh, my gosh, how scary.
00:10:01 Dr. Nikki: Yeah, and sad. I have some sadness around hurting people I love there. But it was a mental health break. It wasn’t intentional, as you know, and I lost three good days of my life. I don’t remember any of it. I remember, like, momentary snapshots. Only a few. So I had the break, and then as I said, I kind of dropped back down and came to the planet, but really low, low below the planet and had a severe depression for like, seven days because of everything and the fallout. It was a mess.
00:10:40 Christy: Yeah. Did you have any support around that time?
00:10:42 Dr. Nikki: I mean, my husband Mark was good. I wasn’t in therapy at the time. I guess I was in so much denial around it, I had no idea. And hindsight is 2020, right? I believe therapy is like something everyone should be able to have access to and do, so important. But I just was on this high of mania that I could take care of everything. And so when I came back, I have, a good friend, Tara Shaw, who’s a licensed clinical social worker, and I called her because she’s a trauma informed therapist. And I called her and said, look, like this thing happened, I’m terrified.
00:11:20 Dr. Nikki: And she referred me to a therapist, like, that week. And I spoke to Chris, and she didn’t diagnose per se, but she was like, I think that you may have bipolar, and referred me to a psychiatrist. And we just kind of got the show on the road. But it was a process. It was a multi step process to get there, to get help, and that was scary.
00:11:45 Christy: Yeah. And it sounds like you had a network of friends that were able to support you. A lot of times there aren’t those resources available, particularly for some major mental health disorders. So, thank God you had some resources of people and the resources to be able to get the help that you needed.
00:12:08 Dr. Nikki: Absolutely. I hope for our system that people will eventually have full access to this care no matter what, because I think it would really make such a difference from a huge standpoint from our culture, our country. But, yeah, I was very lucky. I actually also had a dear friend whose cousin was an entrepreneur similar to me, and he had been diagnosed with bipolar, which helped soften the blow, because at the time, that diagnosis sounded so scary to me, right? You have these ideas in your head and what we see in media and TV, all of it. You think of one thing, and it’s just not always that thing, right? Big deal.
00:12:55 Christy: Big, big deal. And I have to say to you, love, that I am so blown away. And I think I wrote this in the intro to the book. When you share your story on the Ted stage, that sitting and listening to you and really knowing, as a social worker myself, the vulnerability it took for you to get on a Ted stage and to share your story and how empowering that is for people. There’s people out there that need to hear your story, Nikki, because you have the strength to be able to do it and to tell it. And if one person hears some ounce of their experience in your story, that makes a huge amount of difference.
00:13:33 Christy: So, yeah, your vulnerability and your willingness to show up courageously and talk about the diagnosis and the process that you go through with somebody with bipolar disorder.
00:13:46 Dr. Nikki: Thank you. I do think that that’s sort of my mission now, right? Is to help, not normalize, but have people see that it looks so different than people might expect. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. And I will say at least every week, if not most days, I have to consider it in my actions or words or whatever it is. It is a factor in my life, always. Like, make sure you get enough sleep, take your meds. Oh, if you feel elevated, you probably need to take some medicine and go to sleep. Oh, but you have patients. Oh, was I a little snappy?
00:14:26 Dr. Nikki: You will eventually start to make yourself a little bit put yourself in a tizzy. So you have to be really moderate about everything you kind of do. And I think for people that are listening, if somebody you love is suffering from a mental health disorder, grace for them, ensuring that, reminding them that they need to have grace with themselves as well and then learning as much as you can about the diagnosis. What is scary, I think is really helpful. It’s a really big deal for family and friends around. It’s not easy.
00:15:02 Christy: No, it’s not. This is a difficult mental health challenge. Do you have other people or circles of support that you share? I’m just curious if there’s a network out there for people with bipolar to connect.
00:15:16 Dr. Nikki: It is so hard to find to a point that I feel like I have a dear friend who runs a group of moms in recovery and I think it’s not the same thing, but it’s likened enough that I think it’s appropriate just to be around a cohort of people that understand how hard it can be. No matter what it is, I think it’s valuable. I’ve attended different groups for bipolar disorder that I could find in Denver and in Colorado. And unfortunately, my experience was very medication.
00:15:53 Dr. Nikki: It was very medication oriented, about like, well, this med was making me feel this and this was this and that was more of the intention behind the groups. That’s sort of where the groups went, in terms of definition. I think it is very difficult to find a group to a point that I think I’m going to start something when life is a little more quiet because I do think there are so many people with bipolar who are next to you. People don’t even realize what they’re going through.
00:16:22 Christy: Yeah. And we need each other, you know, we need each other. We got to take a break here. So we’re just going to take a break. And we’ll be right back with Dr. Nikki Dority.
00:16:38 Christy: Hey, it’s Christy Belz. Many of the people you meet on my podcast have participated in my course called Uproot. This 15 week course takes you through my transformational process of understanding your roots. What’s down there in the dirt you’re not looking at? Reviewing your path and collecting the tools for life success. I would love to help you on your journey. Learn more about the Uproot course, take my quiz and see where you might be stuck down there in the dirt and explore my transformational retreat opportunities christybelz.com/uproot.
00:17:22 Christy: All right. We are back with Dr. Nikki Dority. Wow, I am just percolating over the thoughts here. You know, I’m a manifesting generators in human design, so I’m churning all the time and creating things. And the fact that you just said that you might start something in the way of a support group for bipolar people experiencing bipolar, it tangles inside of me, makes me just think how cool that could be. So let’s stay in touch on that. And yeah, people are going to be listening to this, and we’re going to tell them how to be in touch with you. So if that is meant to happen, we know it will put it in the flow, right?
00:17:57 Dr. Nikki: Absolutely. As another manifesting generator.
00:18:00 Christy: We are powerhouses man [inaudible]. If you don’t know what Human design is, it’s a whole another tool. If you haven’t, you can go to humandesign.com, I think, and look at it. It’s a pretty fun tool to learn about yourself more. All right, Nikki, let’s talk about you were just talking about the difficulties, but you’re running a business, you’re a mom with two kids, you have a partner. Let’s talk about your experience of moving to these hard things and learning healthy communication and how to relate. You talked a little bit about self care earlier, slowing down.
00:18:41 Dr. Nikki: Yeah. I think for me, first and foremost, it’s about prioritization. One of the manifestations of my disease for me was, like never saying no and always explaining myself, always pleasing, because that could keep me elevated, because I could then maintain doing everything, and I didn’t really even know that. So for me, saying no without a big explanation is really important. I think open communication at first with my kids, it was very awkward. They were younger, so to try to explain it to them was really I don’t think I did a very good job at it.
00:19:22 Dr. Nikki: But over the years and with them having therapy, I think my husband and I have worked really hard to not normalize, but normalize it enough to say, like, look doing absolutely everything we can for me to stay well and be well and that there may be some challenges along the way, bumps and bruises. But, at the end, the intention is always to stay balanced and healthy.
00:19:49 Dr. Nikki: I think with work, particularly, I have so much I want to do. As you know, I write, I teach, I do Nurture part time. I treat, I own a PT business that I work kind of not that part time anymore. I’m an active human being, and I think the hardest thing for me, Christy, is differentiating between who I am truly this manifesting generator creator, who that is, and then my mania, and differentiating and figuring out when do I cross that line?
00:20:22 Christy: It’s really interesting.
00:20:24 Dr. Nikki: Yeah, it’s really tough. It’s like something I have to reconcile a lot, I think, right now-
00:20:31 Christy: How do you reconcile that? How do you pull that apart?
00:20:35 Dr. Nikki: That’s a good question. My amazing therapist, Jennifer.
00:20:38 Christy: Oh, good. Yes. Awesome.
00:20:43 Dr. Nikki: She helps me and sometimes, I mean, I have really amazing friendships and relationships talk about like support, really, I’m very lucky. I’ve lost some friendships, to people that couldn’t handle bipolars. What I’ve heard a few times. But what that did was open up the door for this amazing group of people in my life, from my dearest friends of family all the way to people that I know in, community who just get me.
00:21:14 Dr. Nikki: That’s a lot of value. And I mean, you know this about me, we’re friends. I focus a lot on my kids right now and really making sure it’s a healthy and stable environment that is like my number one driver at this stage in my healing.
00:21:34 Christy: Yeah, priorities. They used to say, you can do it all. And I just read this somewhere, it says you can do it all, just not all at the same time, right? I think that’s true. And raising kids and when they’re young, that’s got to be the priority. You got to put those kiddos first and make that happen as somebody that’s now an empty nester. And I keep looking back, thinking, shoo, how did I do that, right? Now I’m on the other side of it thinking it was hard. It was really hard. Being a mom is not an easy thing. Being a partner is not an easy thing, and dealing with the mental health is not an easy thing. So a lot of complexity in your life and all of our lives, right?
00:22:15 Dr. Nikki: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I think one thing, Christy, that’s interesting is sometimes this may resonate with people sometimes and it’s not any one person, but there’s a blanket of it that makes it a little difficult and complex, is sometimes people will also write you off if you are emphatic about something. Or the challenge sometimes is that the people will just be like, oh, yeah, she’s quote unquote ‘being bipolar,’ I’ve had that experience a few times. That’s really minimizing and really difficult.
00:22:50 Dr. Nikki: And I’m not saying that everybody has that experience, but I think sometimes when you have this thing, no matter what mental health challenge you may have or medical health issue, sometimes people can minimize it in ways. And I empathize with people that are listening that that sometimes does happen. And for me, I simply just see it for what it is. Try not to attach to it, work through it verbally and emotionally, and then try to just drive on, because there are going to be people in the world that will do that and treat you that way, and it’s not yours, and he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s their own fear. I respect that. I respect that. I get that it must be scary for other people to hear those words.
00:23:37 Christy: The thing that really pisses me off is how we label like, we label people, whether they’re having a hard time, whether it’s bipolar, whether it’s alcoholism, whether it’s obesity. I mean, we just live in this society, in this place, in this world where we have to label people, and that frustrates me. And then we stigmatize it, right? Mental health is a stigmatized aspect of our society, and it just sucks that we can’t listen, that. And in my work in Uproot, we talk a lot about resisting feeling things, and how do we go around those things, the things that make us uncomfortable, right? We judge it. We do all sorts of stuff to go away from our own discomfort. So I love you saying that it really doesn’t belong to you when people do that and it still sucks. Bullshit, actually.
00:24:27 Dr. Nikki: It does suck. I mean, I’ve had three friends who have said, I just can’t deal with that, and I get it. It could be a trigger from their own lives, and you have to let those situations go. Those people are being honest, at least they’re being honest, right? But I think, like I’ve said in the Ted Talk, I have a disease. I’m not my disease. You know, I’m still me.
00:24:55 Dr. Nikki: And in fact, I would say I’m a way, more better, present, whole me than I’ve ever been. It’s a journey, but I think I’m so much more thoughtful about how I live and my relationships and understanding what people also need. Like my daughter, she really needs and thrives on really good stability. So trying to foster that at home and be so intentional, it’s made me a better person to know that I have this, to work through it. I feel like I’m a much more complete individual and always loving, but very different now.
00:25:39 Christy: Very profound. All right, we’re going to wrap up. As much as I love to, I could just talk to you all day long. So I always love to ask my guests to share something with the audience that you feel like can help them. Something, you know, something you want to share that helps them be more powerful and authentic in their lives. That’s something you’d like to share with our audience.
00:26:02 Dr. Nikki: I mean, I think a couple of the tenets have already kind of come through. I think first and foremost, if you’re trying to please other people, you’re not helping anyone. You can’t say yes to three things in one afternoon, which is something I used to try to do. Honestly, the people you love don’t want that of you. They want you when it’s available for you to be with them. And I think pleasing can get the best of you. It can almost create, situation where there can be white lies and just things where it starts to challenge your own integrity.
00:26:36 Dr. Nikki: So I think really working on being so true to your word and impeccable with it and not trying to please and just being fully honest, like, hey, I can’t do that today. And as a clinician and for some people that are listening, if you have regular multiple meetings a day, it’s hard with a diagnosis like this because there are days that I simply have to take my medication and go to sleep. And some people don’t get that. But I would say, I hate to say that, but you absolutely have to put your oxygen mask on and listen to those little things because they’re there, to, hey, this isn’t going well. Consider that. And if people aren’t happy with the decision you had to make, that’s okay too. You’re not here to please everyone. You got to stay well.
00:27:33 Christy: I feel you on that, man. We givers or pleasers. I’ve had to learn that lesson myself the hard way, right? Just burning myself out, burning it at both ends and really not serving anybody by doing that. So I love that nugget. Thank you.
00:27:49 Dr. Nikki: Yeah, absolutely.
00:27:50 Christy: Oh, gosh. So, Nikki, I just really value you and your authenticity and who you are on the planet. I just think, your courage and your ability to show up and just be you, just be you. You’re so beautiful and so amazing and I’m so grateful that you show up. You really show up.
00:28:14 Dr. Nikki: Thank you. It means a lot to me.
00:28:18 Christy: I can’t even come up with the words of how much my heart just feels like it’s exploding right now thinking about you and how awesome I think you are. So love you, love you, love you.
00:28:29 Christy: Let’s tell our listeners how they can find out more about you.
00:28:32 Dr. Nikki: You can find out more about me at balanceptdenver.com or at Nikki_Dority on Instagram, N-I-K-K-I spell that. And then you can also find us at Nurture, it’s visitnurture.com online and then @visitnurture on Instagram.
00:28:56 Christy: Thank you. Please look up, Nikki. Go to Nurture if you’re in Denver. And if anybody wants to have a support group for people with bipolar disorder, let’s make that happen. We love to manifest and generate that, right, Nikki?
00:29:08 Dr. Nikki: Yeah, it would be amazing. Yeah, I’m in the midst of it, right? So that would be fabulous.
00:29:14 Christy: You’re so good. I know our listeners are going to want to plug in.
00:29:17 Christy: On our next show we have the amazing Dr. Sally Spencer Thomas. Dr. Thomas is an expert in suicide and suicide ideology and she will be sharing her wisdom and resources with us on the next New You Network for Empowering Women Podcast.
00:29:38 Christy: It is my joy to showcase the voices, choices and stories of women and the messy details of life’s journey. As you’ve experienced, my guests are thriving with purpose and authenticity, but that does not mean that their life is easy and without challenges. I’ve dedicated my life to you and your journey. Thank you for listening to, NEW You, Network for Empowering Women podcast. Please subscribe and learn more christybelz.com/newpodcast.