We are at the time of year when we are thinking about a new season. Fall is in the air, and I love what the changing seasons represent. Change is always happening. It is the only constant in our lives. Change is beautiful but can also be painful.

Suffering, losses, hurt, and discord are all around us. Most recently for me is the loss of a dear friend to cancer. She was just two days past her 51st birthday. She received a cancer diagnosis in December and waged a very courageous six-month battle, and now she is gone. She lived next door to me for the past several years after a very challenging divorce. She was more family than friend.

One day I sat with her in her hospital room after the doctor told us of the finality of her illness. Devasted, I looked at her and said, “Wow, I cannot believe this.” She responded, “Yeah, I thought I was going to take care of you as you grew older.” I replied, “And I thought I was going to take care of you!”

This is the most recent loss of many in my lifetime. Grief is a mother f*cker of an emotion, the way it bites you in the ass at the moments you least expect it.

Dealing with grief is a deeply personal journey, and what works for one person might not work for another. However, to start to navigate through your grief, here are a few things you can do today:

  • Allow Yourself to Feel: Give yourself permission to experience your emotions without judgment. Whether it’s sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief, it’s important to acknowledge and process these feelings rather than suppress them. Even drop a few f*ck bombs if you need to.
  • Seek Support: Lean on friends, family, or support groups who can offer a listening ear. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. The professional counseling I offer can also provide guidance and a safe space to explore your grief.
  • Create Rituals or Memorials: Honoring the person or situation you’ve lost through rituals, memorials, or personal tributes can provide a sense of closure and connection. This could be as simple as lighting a candle, getting out in nature, creating a memory book, or participating in a meaningful event.

Remember, grief is a unique experience, and there’s no “right” way to go through it. The key is to find what feels supportive and healing for you.

Other people’s losses

In addition to my own recent experience, I have many friends and clients dealing with loss and crises such as unexpected breakups, loss of family members, and suicide. What I am most saddened by is the way people behave and act toward each other after breakups, and particularly after a death. The survivors bicker, fight, grab, hoard, and even hire lawyers mostly over “things.”

I believe grief makes people want to hang on to something when the someone they love is no longer in the world. It makes people react in such unpredictable ways, which complicates this complex emotion.

We do not escape the losses in our life, and we are not alone in our grief. It is part of living. I have found comfort in remembering this truth as it said in Ecclesiastes 3:20: All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.

If you or someone you know is struggling with how to process grief or heal, please schedule a session with me. I am dedicated to empowering individuals and organizations through coaching, consulting, and spiritual guidance. I am here to help you move through these difficult times.

Let’s all sing:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.